Holding Hands in the Castro

When you hang around the Castro in San Francisco you notice any number of romantic couples holding hands walking down the sidewalks. Of course, you see guys holding hands with guys and girls with girls. And, yes, this is a heartwarming sight, especially for a Midwest boy like me. I remember holding hands with my boyfriend walking through the warehouse district in Minneapolis thinking that at any minute we could get the crap beat out of us.

But most of the couples you see with fingers entwined, couples strolling down Market Street or sipping lattes at Cafe Flore, are heterosexual couples. Yes, straight people. The number of sweaty palmed straight couples in the Castro far outstrips that of queer couples. It's not that there are more straight folks than gay folks around. No. I mean we're talking about the Castro. This is a place where the line to the men's room is longer than the line to the women's room. Where there are four gyms and not a single Gap Kids. No. It's as if heterosexual couples who walk through can't bear to lose physical contact with their s.o. As if, if they were just a man and woman walking next to each other, someone might think they were...gulp...gay.


One time, I saw a couple come out of a book store, and they were, omigod, without umbilical for a moment. He went blithely walking on, when she, with a look of panic in her eyes, came trotting up behind him and grabbed his hand. Grabbed it. Like it was the last life boat on the Titanic.

Now, I'm not against holding hands. And I'm sure het couples finger wrestle tons in their own neighborhoods too. It's just that a straight couple can't seem to walk through without clinging desperately to the other.

Is it fear? Are you afraid that if you appear unattached some strapping homo will come along and try to bring you to the dark side?

Is it insecurity? Do you think that if you let go of his hand he will suddenly be captivated by the thump, thump, thumping coming from The Cafe and you will lose him forever? Or a dyke on a bike will come and sweep her away and she will realize that you weren't that good in bed anyway?

I just want you to think about why you suddenly feel so lovey-dovey. Is it simply because your heart is warmed by the tenderness of his/her touch? Or is it because you are surrounded by a thousand fags?